Innate Well Being
I was 11 when the self-help aisle became my favorite section of the book store.
I thought that if I could be skinny no one could find anything wrong with me, right? That if I had the perfect body I’d be enough.
My body was always a problem that I needed to fix. More importantly it was my appetite that needed fixing and I loved reading diet books and memoirs of people with eating disorders.
As an adult, when I’d mostly healed from disordered eating, I loved reading self-help books on how to be happier, less anxious, more present, a better mother, a better wife...
I didn’t feel like I was enough just as I was and it was so alluring to think that my perfect life was just a book or a program away. I loved the hope that it gave me, but that searching kept me stuck in my suffering. It made me think that I needed to do certain things to feel better.
When I came upon the understanding of how the mind works (and how nature works) I realized that I didn’t need fixing. I wasn’t broken. There wasn’t anything I needed to do. I could stop searching. And when I stopped searching, I stopped suffering.
The same is true for you. You are not broken. You do not need improving. You are innately healthy. There is nothing you need to do to be happy, loving, and whole.